I felt the cold today ..

By the streets of Seattle, walking on the stony walkways paved between stretches of grassy lands, the cold wind that kissed my cheeks and moved my hair, swirled my ears and sucked my bones, reminded me of the time five years back, back in Chicago land when I was completely new to the city and there wasn’t a moment where I didn’t curse the harsh wind and the ruthless itch it brought with it and I felt it in every nerve of my body. I had not imagined life so hard but I lived it. I cursed it all the way and every moment for all the distress it brought along with its adamant vigor to cause immense suffering.

Every day was a new confrontation with self, a new challenge to leave home, to gather the courage to feel the beast trying to get inside of me from any angle it possibly could while I walked my way to reach class. Resisting all that atrocity and ugliness it got with it and still keeping that energy alive, bled away all the will and strength to survive the day.

It’s been three years I moved away from the place, from the cold and its bitterness.

I felt the same cold today three years later. And I didn’t even really feel it. I enjoyed it and savored it. I slowed down to feel it deeper and smiled. I loved the touch of the wind on my face and it no more felt harsh. It felt known and my own, surreal and beautiful.

A shift in perspective, life, growth and self, changed everything including what the city and its elements resemble to me today. Only today I realize that cold resembles struggle and survival to me. It resembles suffering in the most brutal conditions but holding the faith that it will end someday. The cold that I detested once, taught me to look at life in a different way. It taught me the lesson of bearing pain and how to survive in the toughest times. It taught me perseverance and conviction. It taught me to be fearless.

I live my life fearlessly today and I believe I can survive any phase of life and handle whatever comes my way with the right attitude. It taught me the lesson I needed to learn the most. The lesson of being lionhearted !

That faithful beast stayed with me to teach me my lessons till I learnt them. It stayed by my side on my journey regardless of when and where it would end. It left me when I learnt what I needed to and was ready to take up whatever came my way. Today when I am no more surrounded by it, it got back to me with a hug and a hello and to remind me that though as ruthless and as brutal the entire journey of life gets, it teaches you something that you need, to live the rest of your life.

I love Chicago. I love Cold. I love Life.