Every moment changes

Every time i feel sad or depressed, I wish for that time to come to an end soon.

Every time I feel like someone doesn't understand me, I feel helpless and thoughtless.

How dependent sometimes we get on moments that are defined by situations is so amazing. So much so that we start hoping or expecting them to stay or leave, almost trying to wanting to get a control over life - sadly.

But so many years of learning lessons and many more to come, all of them only restate over and over again reminding me of the age-old "Change is the only constant".

I resonate with that saying today, every day and every minute i feel a certain emotion.

After so much grief, sadness, happiness, pleasure, anxiety, peace and joy - it all finally comes to an end. And every moment changes.

How you feel at a certain time does not last. Good or bad, happy or sad, it won't last and every moment will change. Every moment will be different from what you experience at the moment. And every moment changes regardless of anything else. This alone thought makes me move on from where ever I am in my mind.

Also considering the fact that life is really too long, most moments won't ultimately matter in the bigger picture. Those that matter will be a stepping stone to your destiny and you'll always remember them. Those which won't don't last anyway.

How unfortunate that the same is true for great moments that make us feel elated. They don't last either. Ultimately none of it lasts, whatever you do! And we can't control that change. It all keeps changing.

But what you can control is how you look at the changing time and what you take out of it.

And every time these changing moments shock me, as much as they do, I only say to myself:

A sleep inducing world and Im wide awake

In a thought provoking world, I lie thoughtless

But what more to say to my mind when every thing seems as huge and wide as a mountain range

It is true today and will stay forever, every moment of time in my life will most surely change!

Run-rhythmia

Run that extra mile, run that walk way, run on the treadmill, run where you can! Run! Cause when you can’t you’ll miss it!

Running is the biggest metaphor for living life, it gives you back what you’re ready to put into it. It teaches you to not wait for the end, but to start and to start with courage.

It is one of those very few things that you can do all by yourself. It asks you everyday if you’re ready to be strong or are you going to be a wimp!

Running gives you a rhythm nothing else can. It takes you beyond your estimations of self and throws away all those worn-out beliefs. It teaches us to challenge ourselves, everyday, every mile!

It doesn’t matter where you reach and how fast you reach. What matters is that you’re set on a journey that’ll reach you somewhere and it’ll reach you there at your pace, the pace at which you want to reach and a pace that isn’t forced.

It tells you, that only you have the power to decide how and at what intensity you want to live life with.

Running teaches you to prepare and to trust that the end shall be satisfying. It teaches you that you can go in any direction under your own power. Where ever you reach is what you had planned for and you deserve!

Run faster, run further, run till your lungs let you – for, while you run you take more breaths and live more. Each breath you take while running reminds you that life’s passing by, so live it up as much as you can!

Running inspires you to do more in the short time that we all have, it forces you to face your fears boldly! It gives you the rhythm that you need.

It shows you a miracle that nothing else does, the miracle that you had the courage to start and the miracle that you didn’t care where it ends, the miracle to do your best without worrying where you’ll end up!

Run a little more, run that extra mile, take that extra breath!

To Friends!

A good dinner and some laughter around, some fine light and some cool breeze, a life which brings some people along who lift your soul, motivate your thoughts, build up your energy and help accrue your penchant to be happy…

People who become a part of your life and stay there to never leave; those sidekicks who love you for just who you are and accept you for what you have become …

Who inspire you in more than one way, help you carry on everyday and move along the journey of life, take each day as it comes just by being who they simply are, only the presence of who matters the most no matter what stage you’re at…

Who laugh when you laugh and cry when you cry, who uplift your mood in the worst times and who just listen without questions…

Who pat your back for your goods and support you in getting better at your bads…

To those strangers who come along your way, sometimes unknowingly and become your only place to go to, who become your home and eventually family away from family…

To friends and a lifetime of them all!!

Cheers!

A multitasking job – Life!

Kudos to the lock, the stock and the barrel!

Kudos to each - for surviving every day with energy, enough to see the next, for living life the way it is!

What a super draining out and obnoxiously challenging this issued-by-the-anonymous job is!

Imagine dealing with your goals and desires, your aspirations and dreams, an entirety of could-be’s and should-be’s, a world full of uncertainties and the unknown, living in the present along with the baggage of the past and the curiosity of the future, the loss of people in your lives, roller coasters of emotions and attachments, empathy and sympathy, the drama of relationships and the mannequin it ends up forming, the trauma of expectations from self and others, the burden of fulfilling needs of people you care for, the idea of making a good life for yourself and your children, for wanting to be the best you can at every microscopic stage of your life, for dealing with friends and family and for juggling between so many different worlds you shift from and into, the want of being a successful person and the wish to write your own destiny, the acceptance of unexpected events that occur and oh ! dealing with the need to love and to be loved – and then of course throw in some grocery shopping, laundry, being neat and clean and presentable, sleeping , cooking, eating, concentrating, working the best you can, talking, breathing, yawning, falling sick etc. !!

What a super exhaustive and multiplicative job this can be!!

And each one of us, do this everyday as a routine. We betray ourselves of the pat we all deserve on our backs, the acknowledgement and the appreciation that we seldom show ourselves and expect more from others – a boss, or a spouse, children or parents.

Lets not wait for anybody else to validate this truth of each of our lives. Lets believe it ourselves and pat our backs on the amazing job of living life just the way we all do!

Lets felicitate our survival today and lets all smile just for who we all are!

Oh Summer – My myth!

How it felt to soak those sun rays deep within your skin, all day for long days!

That season filled with breaking the rules, standing apart, ignoring your head and following your heart.

And the sweat under those flip flops that almost made you slip, the little tinkles on the forehead trickling down beside your ear slowly, one at a time; making you feel soulful about the warmth of Seattle – that imagination of a rightly balanced summer, that wish to lie on a hammock basking in the fever of the bright, the early!

That desirous appearance of the mountains bubbling with the gleaming golden rays of the sun, shining just at the right rims and angles, still aspiring the necklace of majesty.

Oh and the pompous lake Washington broadcasting its blue with the slight tinge of the yellowish golden flash bestowed upon by the flare, that yellow bright star.

Where are ya lost - behind those foggy, shady mystical films?

Where’s the summer when it all started? Where’s the summer when we all partied? Where every day was a Saturday night - where the sand was on my seat and the waves kissed my feet?

The sweet smelling breeze, the salty waft, sun kissed hair – Oh summer, take me there!

Grandeur at its best!

Beautifully sewed by the rays of the sun, this majestic abyss stands as undisturbed, unmoved, and untouched by modernism. Every falling ray of sunshine stiches the constantly deforming canyon every morning and radiates a maze of colors beyond and beneath its slits. The aura of this huge picture sitting so calm and content, immovable and certain of everything in life reflects so much belief and steadiness - belief in one’s own faith and steadiness in the ever changing world.

No matter what changes outside, this grand canyon confines its space so uniquely to not let anyone take anything away from it. It shields the life growing within. The tiny gears growing within it ask so little from life itself. They thrive in the hardest conditions and yet blossom looking the best.

The morning sunrise sets a reminder every day to keep a watch on the magnificence of nature and that of life, the grandness of how much nature throws at you every minute, the reality of bliss and a delusion of an unreachable cosmos. All in this one space – the Grand Canyon!

Every day when the sand sheds off the edges of its wide crevices, it only deepens in a different direction and carves itself with more beauty. It unfolds a different sense of refinement every second.

As the sun seeps down, the setting rays ornament the canyon in the most gentle form and the moonlight with the stars adorn its forehead reflecting a stunning glow which brilliantly celebrates every little part of the Canyon in its own way.

This, 2730 million years ago formed rock solid figure still encompasses the same and more beauty every passing day reminding each of the grandeur of one’s own personage, the magnificence of nature and the spirit of life in its own magical way.

This mythical Canyon that decors its city with its abiding existence and its adamant zest -may it continue to endure the course as it is today, for generations to come so each born new feels blessed to have stepped into a world with so much victory and so much heart !

Stare is constant

Change is the only constant they say. I think stare and change are constants for a person who realizes how liberating staring can be.

Staring gets to you the pause that we all need regularly in our everyday lives. It gets you in a state where you feel frozen until reality strikes, when a wish that the world can stop for a bit flies by your mind. Stare gives you that still, that pause, that high and that constant that nothing else can. It relieves you from the constant struggle of thinking, the fight to battle with doing the right thing and disentangling all those tightly tied up knotted feelings that don’t let you get anywhere or make you feel stagnant and blocked. Stare blocks that block. Stare lets you freeze for a while and pauses your world for a few moments.

I love to stare. I can’t stare for too long, but I love it. I’m addicted to staring. And while I’m still staring the real world strikes and I find myself back on that land full of my own struggles I don’t want to face.

It has meant so many things in different aspects of my life. I’ve got into deep troubles and felt loses even, due to my habit or want to stare. In a class it has meant, “why don’t you leave the class if you’d like to look outside the window anyway”. Who would think, that little mind which really doesn’t have any space anymore has frozen and is in a state of still.

In a relationship, it might mean “What are you thinking about? (Nothing.) How can you think about nothing all the time? You don’t communicate enough with me!” It’s all a matter of perception. Whoever said I’m not perceptive doesn’t really understand that state at all and bears no capacity to ever understand it either. I’m not thinking anything. I’m in a state where I love to be cause I permit myself in those moments to stop thinking, stop analyzing, stop observing and stop caring about what the world thinks of me.

At work I’ve faced humor “Ms. Jangla, now if you’re really done adoring that white board so much, may we hear of your work agenda for the rest of the week please!”

With a set of friends it has meant “Uh oh…we’ve lost her again!! Come back you lost soul”. A very good friend gets curious and asks “I wonder what you’re thinking all that time that you stare. I want to look at what you’re looking at...” I’m not looking at anything really. I’m only at a pause where I wish to be forever sometimes, cause I love to be left alone. I love to just not think and freeze. I love to not hear and not see with my eyes open. I love to not get distracted by anything in life. I love to be or not to be.

I’m not thinking about anything. I Promise.

I’m only taking a break from thinking. And I’m not lying either. I’m only being truthful to myself by taking that break. I’m only excusing myself from doing what I should do all the time – ponder, think, live, do the right thing...I’m only procrastinating a little cause I think I can allow myself to. I’m not lost anywhere!

I’m not thinking all the time – I’m not! I’m playing dead and suspending myself from the constantly changing time and elements, I’m only immobilizing myself for a while cause I love to, I’m only blocking myself from my thoughts. I’m only quitting for a while. I’m only quitting to resume!

My stares are the semi colons of my every day life, where I stop and wait, at most times unknowingly. It’s a switch from struggle to momentary peace. It’s a switch from struggle of dealing with thoughts, struggle of getting things right by being yourself and the struggle of handling life as it comes to that temporary peace that lets you be all by yourself amidst strangers, that’s lets you lay still in that mind of yours and says exactly this “I’m holding onto everything till you come back! Come back soon though, I wont be able to do this for long…”

I stare cause I choose to! I stare to be or not to be for a while! I stare to look at things exactly the way they are! I stare so I can breathe! And I stare so I can be blocked!